No.5

The Guide

by Ashvin Varghese.

NO.5

     Never judge a book by its cover, yes that’s how I am kicking off this edition/episode of the guide. Am sure you guys can picture why I am going with a blunt straight forward message, if did not get it, well it’s because of the gorgeous individual that I had the opportunity to meet and greet for this edition of Le Guide. I know I have been rather late with the updates on the chronicles of my adventure and no, I did not give up hope on my unusual adventure. The fact is I have been having internet troubles which have been a major pain in my creative process; I feel like a painter without a brush, a rather pointless combination.

    I am going to take the liberty to rant my frustration at the internet services provided in Malaysia. They all suck! Imagine paying RM98.00 for 6 GB of internet quota. At the time due to my desperation I had to succumb to such personified stupidity. Who likes those mother flipping 24 month contracts? Ah the rage I get thinking about it. I guess we better off get to the series of events that lead to my interesting interview with No.5.

    I must confess No.5 was not approached by random, well kind of. Here let me try to explain, No.5 is a rather new acquaintance to me so to speak. We met in a very natural and unintentional way. I met No.5 at the gym I go to a few days prior to this edition of the guide. It happened like this, it was just another gym day for me, I walked into the gym with sheer determination to push my physicality as far as I can and as I entered the gym I could sense that the aura of the place was different; I was put off balance by the rare sight of a female. You see the gym I go to has virtually no female enthusiasts; it’s like spotting a unicorn running amongst horses. It takes a moment for my brain to observe and confirm what I am seeing; I am still a young man in the prime of my youth after all.

   The gym is a sacred place; it’s like a temple, a place where men use the synergy between physics and biology to improve his being on so many faculties. With this mentality I shrugged off any intention of an approach and moved on to work on the muscles attached to my back. On an unconscious level perhaps, I was kind of showing off, like peacocking, parading the strength that I attained thus far by moving the weights with such vigour, trying to get some attention, it did not occur to me then. To the women readers, I think you got to understand that this comes naturally sometimes without any conscious taught; it’s a natural phenomenon amongst the male species I guess.

   Back to business! No.5 turned out to be a newbie to the ways of the gym, but thankfully for her the guys that were around her were rather helpful by showing her some moves with the weights. Gym enthusiasts are a helpful bunch! During that period No.5 and I managed to spark a conversation regarding the exercise lifestyle, I managed to poke in some tips and tricks here and there about working on improving the physical characteristics of the body. This conversation somehow escalated into a brunch session, we were heading at the same direction on the way back from the gym anyway.

    No.5 and I got better acquainted with each other during our little brunch, we chatted about all sorts of topics and she seemed pretty grounded for an 18 year old. Unfortunately I did not interview her this time as the both of us were still messy and in our gym cloths, it did not seem appropriate. I did however take the chance to share with her on my blogging endeavours and she seemed open to the idea of an interview. We did not set any dates and left it at the convenience of our free time. No.5 is an aspiring accounts student; I assume her college schedule is rather hectic. I don’t know why a lot of women seem to be more inclined to do accounts; I get the impression that this is a money hungry era for women, fingers crossed.

     Before I get too carried away and end up going off topic like I usually do, I think we should get to the interview and the good bits. Three to four days after our initial meet, No.5 and I casually agreed to meet up for tea, but our tea arrangement ended up by me having a juicy burger followed by No.5 tagging me along shopping for groceries. I don’t know how that happened honest. During that period I somehow managed to interview her.

   Now let’s get to the part where I try my level best to describe her physicality, this process takes a lot of observation by the way (smiley face). No.5 is rather gifted with very dominant physical features, a cross between a curvaceous body and a baby sweet face. I guess at initial sighting a typical man would go, “wow, uh la la”, if they see No.5 coming from a distance, but as they get a glimpse of her face they would go “awhhhhh that’s the cutest darn thing I have ever seen”. Asides the duality of No.5 attractiveness, she has a pair of beautiful eyes to compliment with her sweet face, big with a light hazel brown colour. I hope I am doing a good job so far for you guys. Well there’s more, the most attractive thing about her has to be her energetic personality. No.5 has this charismatic charm about her, extremely down to earth and happy go lucky. I personally think this is the best quality that I find in a women and she’s got it. She reminds me of Adele in some of her interviews I have seen, a more curvaceous version that is. On the attractive index No.5 places at the number 2 (A notch above attractive), meanwhile on the financial wealth index No.5 places herself at the number 1 (Moderate income). I know I promised that I would change the questions from the last edition, but I taught it better to start it off with No.6.

Q&A Session

1.         What do you think about Malaysian men? Give your personal opinion based on your experience thus far.

No.5 concludes that men typically come in varieties and age usually merits these varieties. She feels that it revolves around a maturity factor. From her experience she finds that most men can’t own up to anything they say, it’s always the case of empty promises time and time again. I assume it’s just the guys around that age, what do you guys think?

2.                Based on your experience do you find it hard for guys to approach you?

No.5 effortlessly says that she finds herself to be very approachable. As I said guys, she is down to earth, that’s the best kind of women there is. 

3.                What’s your Ideal guy?

Surprisingly, she takes her time with this question. No.5 feels that an ideal guy for her would be someone who is generous. She dislikes a man who is calculative and she hates conversations revolving around money. A rather interesting notion coming from an accounts student. Adding on to this, she says that the worst quality a guy can have is by being a paranoid control freak, someone who constantly interrupts her social life by controlling her in his favour; she laments this through bitter experiences. Pay attention guys, everyone needs their space. I guess being like this portrays a lack of confidence or an inferiority complex. I can relate to this situation a bit but hey no one is perfect and live is an experience.  No.5 also highlights the fact that she likes her man to be slightly messy as she indulges in doing all the cleaning for her man. I see, interesting.

4.              In your experience what is the worst way has a guy approached you?

No.5 has had several bitter experiences when it comes to men approaching her. She has experienced a man come up to her directly to advise her on losing weight so that he could date her. I hope he was not serious! A second experience that she had was when a guy chatted with her for the sole purpose of hooking up while watching porn together. I still can’t fathom this concept on how some of these questionable characters walk up to random women and confidently say such things.  

5.                What do you think will put you off when a guy tries to approach you?

Yes its body odour again, so I am not going to type much here. No.5 did mention that she does not find men who wear glasses attractive. I feel the pinch here as was wearing glasses at that very moment!

6.                Do you find it offensive when guys comment on how much makeup you wear?

Personally No.5 has never received such comments. She however finds it not offensive if a guy comments on her makeup, she feels that it’s their opinion. No.5 understands that women in general are more sensitive in nature especially when it comes to the matters of beauty but she finds unnecessary that these opinions on makeup should bother them.

7.                In real world Malaysia how would you like a guy to approach or court you?

No.5 strongly wants a man to know her as a human being, not just to view her as some sexual object. She says first start off as a friend than slowly move up until you know each other comfortably then you can move on to the kinky bits, be patient she says. I say this is some rather sound advice, hope you guys are reading this diligently.

8.               What kind of stereotype would you like to change that you think Malaysian men have?

No.5 feels that there is a stereotype surrounding the virginity of a woman. She finds that there are certain quarters amongst Malaysian men that emphasize on the importance on virginity. She finds this to be rather hypocritical and a narrow way of thinking. She says that virginity does not define the character or attitude of a person. Another stereotype she finds that most men have is to do with women smokers. She finds that some men have this perception that women who smoke are immediate sluts or have slutty attitudes. No.5 does not understand this way of thinking or more importantly how some of these people come to such conclusions. I may have heard this somewhere down the line and I am sure most of you guys have too. Change us upon us.

9.                The Stigma, when a guy sleeps around, many social circles will consider him some kind of hero or respect his exploits and he will still be accepted by the community. Women on the other hand will get a baptism of fire from both sexes. In most cases the biggest critic will be a woman. What is your say on this?

Her response to this question is a strong, “not fair”. No.5 finds that most men laugh at this predicament at the expense of a woman’s misfortune. When it comes to women being the biggest critic, she says that women generally tend to gossip, they find it thrilling. She confesses to be guilty of the crime and she feels that she has repented her sins, not bad at least she is honest.

Bonus Question

1.      What do you think of women who get breast implants?

No.5 thinks that they have every right to do so as they are the masters of their bodies. She does not find it wrong or offensive as god gave each individual free will to practice. No.5 also interjects that people have absolutely no right to pass judgements on women who get them. I raise my cold mug of beer to that statement.

2.       What are your opinions on nude beaches?

“I think it’s a place to be free and to open up”, that’s what she said (along those lines at least). No.5 feels it’s a confidence thing, if someone has the confidence to do it, go ahead and try to have fun while you’re doing it. That’s her advice. I asked her if she would participate in such beaches, she thinks about and says that it’s not her thing, fair enough.

   There we have it what interesting insights and opinions that were shared with us by No.5. I strongly feel that this edition is quite substantial and I really hope all you gracious people reading this will find it useful or maybe enlighten you in certain aspects of thinking. I sincerely hope you enjoyed todays read. I would like to apologize again on the lateness of this edition and more importantly thank No.5 for sharing her time for all of us. On that note I would like to conclude this edition/episode of the guide, do stay tuned for NO.6 and please feel free to contribute to my efforts. You can contact me on Facebook. Live long and prosper.

The End.