No.10

The Guide

by Ashvin Varghese.

NO.10

   Oh my god it’s been far too long for the update and if you’re wondering, I am still here and alive. These few months has been an utter hell for me. It all started with my laptop dying on me and was the primary demise for my extremely late update to the blog. To make matters worse I finally started my degree, well it's not that terrible in fact it's extremely awesome and I am loving it. Maybe it's because I love it so much that I cant seem to find the time to write, its like I am in love again. Pity me right? I would really love to vomit out more about my degree and the wonderful people I met there but I'll leave that for my next interview, I PROMISE. 

  During my absence from my writing mischief I learned something important, you have do the best you can with what you have. In my case I was basically with out a computer but after a while I learned to cope with the situation and found a way to continue to write. I humbly raised my middle finger towards my awesome luck and continued to do what I like doing. Like the saying goes, "when life gives you lemons, make a lemon cake out of it and add some creamy cheese to it".

  All righty, we are at number ten, I can’t believe I have made it this far and all this was made possible by the support that I have received for my work, A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU GUYS. I am obligated to make this as short as possible for a quick digestion of steamy information, so without anymore delay lets jump to our long awaited No.10. This time I am not going to do any intro here because the personality that makes our No.10 is a close friend of mine (I know you guys are eagerly waiting for the graphic descriptions of my random interactions, sorry for that). This interview was not planned, we were out chilling and having a good time. The entire setting of the interview was well quite interesting. Let me write a short description of the setting and how moved in for the kill (more like points). A couple of friends in a park, Styrofoam cups, a distinctly clear beverage that will set fire in your throats, a pondok in a park and some sweets, yeah sweets. I sincerely hope you guys get the picture, I'd like to call it Malaysian happy hour. So an hour into this gathering, the clear fire water starts doing some mumbo-jumbo with my head, I laugh they laugh, they laugh I laugh. In the midst of the laughter I look over to my busty friend and start to think to myself, “why the fu** have I not interviewed her?” To all you feminist out there, yes I said busty and she takes pride in being busty so I had to highlight the fact. In the partially drunken state I ask her if she is willing to do an interview, she agrees to the cause and voila I have Number 10.

   So in this drunken...no no, I mean calm atmosphere I interview her. I must confess like my previous interviews that were over coffee which I found extremely fun but this was BETTER. Once again i have stumbled upon a new concept. You guys should be prepared for more drunken interviews that will be conducted by yours truly. Now I need to do the civil thing of  describing her without she giving me a baptism of fire, eh heck with it what are friends for right. Based on the word "Busty", I am sure you guys already know that No.10 has real quality...women parts. Hence I won’t emphasize too much on her physicality because she looks mighty fine from all angles. Besides her looks, No.10 possess to be a strong and aspiring young woman in her mid-20’s. On her own she managed to buy a car, live off her own income and most importantly afford to pay for her own education. Her independent and never giving up attitude is a testament for people to admire. Long story short we are dealing with a sexy, independent and strong woman, a real role model. 

  I feel like I still should write more on how she looks but I don’t want to appear to be biased. So on a not so biased note once again I must confess yet again that she looks fineee (with a triple e) with her almond milk coloured skin and timid smile (I won’t say more I promise). I am also compelled to tell you guys that she is one heck of an awesome woman, chilled, laidback and matured like fineee wineee.  Okay I shall say no more and jump straight to the interview.

Q&A Session

1.       What do you think about Malaysian men? Give your personal opinion based on your experience thus far.

No.10 gets straight to the point, the words “don’t depend on men” came blaring out of her mouth. I frown and proceed to enquire more on her drastic statement. She laments that in her experience in dating Malaysian men, she finds that most of them are boring and close minded. She strongly feels that their inclination to expand their mentality to broader aspects of life is their main problem. No.10 also bluntly tells me that most guys tend to use cheap and over used tactics to get a girl. I think to myself this so called cheap tactics must still work since most guys still use them.  But what are those tactics actually? Well don’t be afraid I will do a special write up on it in the coming weeks.

2.               Based on your experience do you find it hard for guys to approach you?

Okay this big chested beauty finds herself to be extremely sociable and fairly easy to approach. She likes guys to get straight to the point if their interested in anything other than a good friendship. Feisty indeed. No.10 feels that sex becomes less important once you get older and taste more experiences. Sex becomes less important? Whatttt kind of sorcery is this?  But I strongly have to agree on this. I mean it’s important but to what extent, correct?

3.               What are your opinions of “kissing on a first date?”

No.10 takes down more fire water and ponders a little and comes with a statement that’s deep. She says that both parties really need to value the quality of the relationship. If it’s a first date, then kissing is a no go. She feels that dates are meant to be a situation where two people get to know each other. I asked her if she has kissed on a first date before to which she says, “no”. She how ever has kissed a complete stranger before. I take my frown face again, interesting indeed.

4.           What kind of stereotype would you like to change that you think Malaysian men have?

No.10 feels that men have a strong attachment towards woman’s clothing. I guess I am attracted to what women wear or how they wear them…wait a minute this sounds tricky. She finds it annoying when guys stereotype women for what they wear. At the end of the day it’s just pieces of fabric. She relates this to what she said earlier on Malaysian men not being broad minded enough. So my fellow brethren pay attention and go read a book or something. 

5.               Do you find it offensive when guys watch porn?

Jeng jeng jeng….every ones favourite question. No.10 gives me a cheeky smile and says, what’s the big deal? What’s wrong with watching other people doing it, she says.  I, now really induced by the fire water start to really think about her statement. I sip more fire water think deeper but strangely my innocent mind could not come up with anything wrong with watching other people doing it. I suggest you guys to do the same, it’s some mind opening shit.

6.                 Love at first sight or lust at first sight, why?

The word of the day is a CAPITAL LUST. This fairly experienced women says that love is a compromise and it works both ways. Short, simple and easy to follow.

Bonus Question

1.     What is your favourite body part in the male anatomy?

This busty beauty really digs a guy who has toned abs (don’t we all). Abs gets her hormones racing wildly. She does not consider this to be very important as it’s only a bonus, a hot steamy bonus. She just likes her future man to be clean and healthy. Guys please take your grooming seriously.

   Okay that’s a wrap. I am feeling lazy to type anything more now, it’s just one of those fuc*** lazy days. I would like to apologize once again for the delay of my mischievous interviews. Let me remind you guys that I am dedicated to finding out deeper on real world social paradoxes that we face on a daily basis aaaand I like meeting new pretty girls. Lastly, I would like to thank my darling busty friend for agreeing to do the interview while she was intoxicated, yeah she is awesome I know. Anyway the next episode of the TheGuide will be a breakdown on the ten individuals that I have interviewed thus far so be prepared for it. See ya later alligator.